Why is Fat Unattractive?


Have you ever sat around just wondering about things? How is it possible that we can talk into a phone and speak to someone on the other side of the planet? I find it amazing I can go from minus 20 degree weather in Edmonton to plus 20 degree weather in Las Vegas in just three hours of travelling. If you time a sperm and egg connection at just the right moment a human being can be formed that may ultimately change the world in some way and affect every other person on it. The concept of “eternity” freaks me out. The idea that every second I spend writing this article I will never get back. One day I will cease to exist and not know it for eternity… whoa. These are just some of the things my brain tries to comprehend. I could be right in the middle of training a client and my mind just wanders off contemplating something. I must learn how to focus. One day in my training studio, two women were working out with their trainers. One person was very overweight and the other was quite lean and fit. I thought about how other people viewed them. The fit person would probably get more attention, maybe a better paying job and thought of highly by others. The overweight lady probably goes through life with low self-esteem. Society probably sees her as being lazy, undisciplined and not as attractive as the leaner women. So it crossed my mind: “why is having more body fat considered to be unattractive”. I believe I have the answer.

Before I answer the question, I am clarifying what amount of fat is considered unattractive. This is subjective and can be different to various people. I am focusing on people who have 50lbs of fat or more to lose. I think most people in our society would view this amount as unattractive. The people who have 10 to 20lbs to drop may just choose to be a bit chubbier because it does not bother them and they choose to enjoy some of life’s pleasures rather than kill themselves working out all the time. Society would not even notice the fat on them because of the clothing they wear, which can hide many imperfections.

At some points in human history, being fatter was sought after. It represented prosperity, wealth and, for women, it represented good biological conditions to bear children. Even in some countries today, those we as North Americans consider over weight and unattractive, are viewed as beautiful by the opposite sex. I personally consider a lean muscular build on men and women as attractive. Some people believe that a skinny person is more attractive than an overweight individual. Some models who weigh less than 100lbs in our society are considered better looking than women of the same height who weigh 200lbs. It is not because the model is healthier or fitter. The 200lbs female could be healthy and more fit, but just carries more body fat. Just because you are skinny does not make you fit and healthy but for some reason it makes you attractive. It must have something to do with the fat, or is it something else?

Darwin focused on humans having an instinctive desire to procreate and evolve the species. Evolution would mean to have our children be better than we are. Throughout history, humans looked for the healthiest, strongest, fittest and most attractive person to mate with. It is unlikely a lean healthy male or female would choose an overweight, unhealthy, unfit mate. Most people date and mate close to their own attractiveness. It is rare that someone really beautiful would mate with someone considered below average, unless that person had another variable in their arsenal such as a great personality or a lot of money to cancel out the looks. I think it is why many married couples look similar. At the beginning of mankind’s existence 40,000 years ago, the strongest, fittest, healthiest mate did not carry much body fat. Some fat was good to ensure survival in case of famine, but not so much that the fat made them slow, sluggish and unable to move and migrate efficiently. That genetic instinct could still be within us today.

Fear of Aging and Death
What human would not want to drink from the fountain of youth? Being young is associated with health, strength, energy, firm muscles, tight smooth skin and low fat levels. Being old is associated with disease, brittle bones, saggy skin, wrinkles, weakness and excess body fat. As we age, the body naturally decays eventually returning us to nothingness. We naturally seek out the features of youth because it makes us feel we are delaying death. Our natural fear of death has shaped society to covet youth and regret aging.

The media and fashion industry cater to the young. We are told daily that youth is good and that being old is bad. Models are in their late teens or early twenties. The old, male fashion designers of the 20th century (most of them gay) made clothes that would mostly fit young boys. Even the female models looked like young boys, with lack of hips and breasts, just to fit into the clothes. Their fear of aging and death shaped how the rest of society dressed and looked. Youth and thinness were in.

Being Fat Is Easy, Being Lean Is Hard
Our population admires what is rare or hard to get because it makes us different and special in a positive way from the norm. Anybody can become obese, lie on the couch, eat ice cream and watch Oprah on television. This is very easy to do. It is not special in any way. Developing a lean, fit, hard body takes work. It takes dedication, sacrifice and will power. It is rare to do in the present world. The stress of working, taking care of kids, and paying the bills, with the technological conveniences and fast food outlets everywhere make it near impossible. If you walk down the street in any city in North America the chance of seeing a muscular, fit, strong body is miniscule, maybe one or two chances in a hundred people. The obesity epidemic is now becoming the regular physique you will encounter. We pay millions of dollars to professional athletes, and billions of people watch Olympic athletes perform at the highest level. We admire their bodies and what they can do. Their lean physiques can do things that the rest of us mortals can only dream of. We watch in amazement, cheering them on because we realize that their accomplishments are rare and hard and we can not do what they do. Last week Usain Bolt from Jamaica shattered the world record in both the 100 and 200 meters in track and field. He showed an evolution of mankind. He showed what is possible. He showed that there are no limits to what the human body can do. What many thought would be impossible, he showed is doable. Every one of us has a genetic limitation. Most of us will never know what it is. We would have to give up our regular lives, have unlimited financial resources and focus on training eight hours per day, eat perfectly, get adequate rest and recovery to do it all over again day after day. On the flip side, allowing ourselves to gain 50 plus pounds and dealing with all the negative consequences associated with the weight gain is like giving up on life and being satisfied with mediocrity. Maybe its not the fat that is unattractive but the attributes associated with the fat.

30 replies
  1. Mary C says:

    Wow, what a disturbing article. I hope that not every overweight person reading this blog feels as offended as I do right now. There are situations in life where a person cannot put themselves first and fall off track. Either a sick child or parent, financial situations, etc. Ya, we get we may not be as attractive as the fit individual, but as a personal trainer who is to inspire people, this blog just didn’t do it for me.

  2. Kristine M says:

    I’m normally a big fan of yours, but this article goes against so much of what I thought you stood for. Personal trainers are supposed to be influential in a positive way and create a lasting impact on their client’s life. This article would make me think twice before hiring a trainer because I would assume all “positive affirmation” would be fake.

    I would think someone who is muscular and lean is attractive because they obviously take care of themselves. But if they opened their mouths and spewed the superficial nonsense that is in this article, I would change my view SO fast. Their “hard work and dedication” would quickly turn into vanity and ignorance.

    Isn’t your livelihood paid for by the overweight people of the world? Some women refuse to workout in public for fear of being judged. This article just proves they have every right to feel that way!

    I’m not saying you should coddle people, but there is a certain sensitivity that comes along with dealing with overweight people.

    So, Paul, please continue to inspire and encourage many and leave opinions such as these off the internet. I workout as hard and often as I do so I can be proud of accomplishing my fitness goals and kicking ass in so many ways, not so I can be a size zero.

  3. Suzanne says:

    Yep. This was a disturbing article, on many levels. Paul, you have some serious issues about aging as well as weight. Geez, I don’t envy you. You will never be over weight, because you won’t let yourself. But, there’s nothing to be done about getting older.
    In many current cultures, aging is celebrated. Unfortunately, it seems that we are not in one of them. Personnally, I’m looking forward to becoming an old chick. HA!

  4. Amy L says:

    Wow! I am very surprised with the comments in response to this article. I have been on both sides of the fence with regards to this issue. I know what it’s like to be treated as fat and I know what it’s like to be treated as lean. There is a difference of perception. Even though it hurts to think that people see and treat you differently when you’re overweight, that’s just the reality. I was overweight due to lack of nutritional education growing up, then I learned a lot about fitness and nutrition. I also don’t make excuses and am a very proud size 6; not the unrealistic size 0 many women see as perfection. Believe me, it was not an easy feat by any stretch of the imagination. It took a lot of hard work, dedication and I got rid of any and all excuses. I think some of you might have some excuses that you’re holding onto. Don’t blame others, especially trainers, for your shortcomings or lack of motivation. Trainers are not motivational speakers, they aren’t there to baby you into getting fit. You have to want that for yourself. Trainers are like parents, there to guide you through your fitness journey. They are accredited and know what’s best for you when working out, so trust them, don’t give them excuses.

  5. Liz says:

    I tend to lean toward Amy L.’s comment as I think if overweight and seriously offended by Paul’s “doesn’t hold back his opinion” article, then perhaps it’s a confindence issue. Fat or thin, if we live if fear of what other’s think and we hold back i.e. don’t hold our heads high and hit the gym, wear baggy dark clothing, etc, then we’re simply not the whole we could and should be. Love his article, hate his article but don’t let it get under your skin and love yourself – regardless of your size! If overweight, change and get active and healthy – focus on the healthy first as the gorgeous shell, or ideal bod for you, part is just a by-product of overall wellness!

  6. Amanda says:

    I think this article proves that the first step to start solving the “obesity epidemic” is creating fitness environments where larger people can feel comfortable–where they aren’t going to feel judged, and where they can take classes with trainers who know how to work with larger bodies.

  7. Amanda says:

    I would also add to my comment above that as long as the anti-fat attitudes that Paul is describing prevail, obesity will thrive. Reinforcing the idea that fat is ugly only makes fat people hate themselves. When you hate yourself it is very difficult to muster the energy to go to the gym, or revamp your eating habits. (Google the “Health at Every Size” movement if this line of reasoning appeals to you). I speak from personal experience. I recently lost 75 lbs in the course of about a year and a half, and I did so only after I stopped focusing on the numbers on the scale and started focusing on the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. The reality is it isn’t realistic for everyone to look like a supermodel. As Paul points out, people have jobs, kids, and bills to pay. So rather than shoot for perfection, why not just aim to do what we can each day to be healthier versions of ourselves, rather than impersonations of cookie cutter anorexic models?

  8. Danie B. says:

    I think this article is very powerful and makes people think. It is getting so crazy with fast-food every where you turn. I have also been on both sides of overweight and loosing weight.
    I have lots 90 pounds in the last three years and now feel like I am not so tired and can take care of my three kids that are very energetic. Bending down to tie my shoes was what through me over the edge. I could not do that without having a hard time to breath. That was my wakeup call.
    I have two boys that are very active, they play sports 4 to 5 times a week. How would I feel if I could not keep up with my 9 and 7 year old. My daughter is 4 and she is also very active. I think that it is very important that we are active and healthy to teach our kids the same. They learn from example. If you watched the x-weighted families this week, it was a great example of a families working together. I love when my kids come home and say they have joined a sport or ran 15 minutes without stopping in gym class. Its makes me proud that they have a great attitude towards being active. I made this life change for myself but I also did it for my kids.
    Thank you Paul Plakas for the eye opener.

  9. Annie says:

    I have to say that I am on the fence with this one. I see and have lived both sides. Paul, its not going to do any good to belittle the people who need your help to aspire to be their best self. I hear all the points of your article but myself being overweight now due to a change in my lifestyle and much sadness in my life but coming from the ‘model’ side, I know first hand the difference in how people look and treat me now in comparison to before. I know the look when people haven’t seen me for a few years, the almost gasped expression that I can see on their face. I don’t recall every having that attitude towards larger people in my past, I think that society is becoming a ‘better than you’ place and that I don’t like. But, its hard, really hard to go to the gym to work out. I went a few times with my daughter in the past year who has really been trying to get me back to where I used to be and I was never totally comfortable. But, reading this, my plan now is to suck it up, who really give a sh** what everyone else is thinking, I have to live for myself a little. I’m going to get over to the gym and see what they have to offer me. The true people that I actually want in my life will come to me and the rest can pick at me as much as they want to because the times they are doing that – they are weakening themselves and leaving everyone else alone. Good luck to the rest of you. Lets keep a little compassion in the world.

  10. carolyn says:

    The truth hurts and some people don’t want to hear it. I had three kids back to back and went from 165 to 230 up and down for three years.Never once did I look with disdain at thin, fit women.It sounds like the first three women who posted view the world as a place that change happens around them outside rather from the inside, and they have no control. Its a healthier and happier perspective to view the world as a place you can change. When I decided I’d had enough of that lifestyle that kept me heavy, I hit it hard and now am in the best shape of my life. I also (for the most part) watch what I put into my body. Don’t shoot the messenger, this is all a fact of our society. Don’t be bitter if you choose to put in minimum effort and reap minimum results. As for aging, its coming for all of us: read “younger next year” treat your body like a temple and you’ll be a far healthier, happier individual.

  11. Barbara says:

    This is a very honest and frank article. This is reality. I have been on both sides of the fence, and you bet, it takes time, effort, discipline and sacrifice to schive a certain level of fitness/physique. This is what makes a hard lean body so different from the rest.
    Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes the hurtful truth needs to be heard in order to institute change.
    Don’t make excuses. Accept and decide if this is what you want – or if you want more.
    I admire Paul for this article.

  12. DD says:

    Well, there is a lot of truth in what you are saying. I myself have gone from 304 lbs to 175 and still have another 20 lbs more to lose. Society does treat you differently when you are overweight. It’s either that they can’t “see” you because you’re not worth looking at, or you’re the centre of people’s disdain and disgust. I actually had a doctor say to me that most of his staff did not want to work with overweight people because they found them “disgusting”. With regard to finding “skinny” people attractive, I can’t say that is something that appeals to me personally. I find too skinny just as unattractive as too fat. And, when you do lose quite a bit of weight and you’re older, your body does not return to its youthful state, and that can be quite depressing. It takes a lot of hard work and investment in yourself to try to take a hold of yourself and change what you know is unhealthy and leading you to an early grave. This reminds me of a study that was done with children who were considered “beautiful” and children who were more “plain”. I guess we all know who got all of the attention. Life is tough and we only make it tougher on ourselves if we don’t look after the bodies we were born with. It’s such a complicated issue and so many people profit from people’s misery (pharmaceutical companies, the fitness industry, the medical community, and numerous other practitioners and weight-loss programs provided by countless businesses). It really is quite sad that there is so much despair and there is no magic “cure”. It is all about a commitment to yourself, hard work, and struggle.

  13. paul says:

    Thanks for everyone’s comments. My intention for this article was not to inspire or motivate people. Sometimes I just have thoughts about why things are a certain way. I felt a need to write them down and explain why I think people who are overweight are discriminated against.

  14. Nancy says:

    I don’t think Paul’s intention was to discriminate here…..He is trying to MOTIVATE you….and EDUCATE you!

    Belly fat is not only unattractive, but it can be life-threatening. With abdominal fatty tissue pushing on your organs from every direction, there is an increased risk of heart disease, certain types of diseases, and even cancer. These diseases are life threatening and claim many lives every year.

    Fat also restricts the blood flow. This is true of anywhere in the body, but with a big belly there is an increased risk. The arteries around the stomach need to get blood to these important organs. Blockages of these arteries can cause heart attacks.

    In severe cases, it knocks your whole body out of balance. It stops the body’s natural production of insulin. The result is that the problem snowballs; your body’s ability to produce insulin and metabolize decreases, and your body is completely out of balance. This is very dangerous and is a major cause of diabetes.

    New studies on the dangers of obesity are always coming out. We know now that obesity is a leading cause of “sleep apnea.” This is a disorder where the sufferer can’t breathe properly during sleep, and blood can’t reach the brain. The result is fatigue, memory problems, bad sleep and improper functioning of the body. Obesity is a leading cause.

    The most recent studies suggest that obesity can affect your brain. “Metabolic Syndrome” leads to brain tissue loss, especially in the areas that handle language and memory.

    “Darwin focused on humans having an instinctive desire to procreate and evolve the species. Evolution would mean to have our children be better than we are. ” Scienstists are now saying that this could be the first time in history that we as parents will out live our children. SCARY eh?

    Weightloss is not only about commiting to a new healthy lifestyle. It’s about being accountable for your weight GAIN in the first place and finding a healthy weight loss solution that is sustainable throughout life. It’s about learning healthy self management techniques, being educated, and having the appropriate intervention strategies to every road block that comes your way. “For every action there is a reaction”. It’s not a diet. It’s about not blaming anyone else and being accountable to yourself.

    Don’t be offended by this article. Instead, LEARN from it. I think Paul truely cares about his clients…..

    “The only journey is the journey within.”-Rainer Maria Rilke

  15. Dianne says:

    I don’t think Paul’s opinion here is offensive. Firm maybe, but it is true. I also like many have been fit, to fat. And I have myself to blame !! No one made me eat garbage food. More and more people are overweight, fast food all over. More than ever !!! Some times reality needs to kick you in the ass, before you do something about it !!! I do not like the fact people treat heavy people different. But bottom line is you need to be happy with who you are. Inside and out.. and if you are well hats off !! I am on the road yet again to loose 50lbs. I have lost 15.5 so far. Long road ahead. But I need to change now for my future, I am 36 but I do not want to be overweight in my senior years. I still have lots of living to do so I am doing something about it now .

  16. Coreen says:

    I think the first thing we have to remember is that Paul is a man. On average, men rate body type more important than personality or even facial looks compared to women. I find it amazing that a skinny couch potato ranks higher than a fit fat person. I think fit is more important than unfit but, then again, I’m a woman. I also think what that person acts like is more important than what they look like. I’m lucky enough to know that size has nothing to do with what kind of a person you are. Though this article does prove a point. Skinny fit people need to stop being so judgemental. Maybe if we had less judgemental people in the world we would have less unfit people in the world. I would much rather have a husband that loves me and encourages me to be active than a skinny husband that will leave me if I gain 20 pounds. Maybe instead of looking at that fat person (that you don’t even know) and thinking how fat they are, look at yourself and ask who am I to be judging someone else. Maybe they have a health issue. Being skinny doesn’t make you perfect. Obviously, a lot of you need to work on the inside and stop worrying about what other people look like. If all else fails, maybe look at it this way. If there were no fat people, you’d have to get to know someone before you judged them.

  17. Amanda says:

    I just wanted to add one thing to my original point: ironically enough, the one place that I’ve experienced the most discrimination is at the gym. I worked my way up from stepping onto an elliptical machine and practically dying just to stay on there for 30 minutes, to doing 1 hour of interval training 4 times a week, to running. And one of the first times that I ran around the track another woman (a very thin one who I assume was just pissed that I, a chubby girl, kept passing her…) came up to me and told me that I needed to walk instead of run–that anyone who is more than 20 pounds overweight needs to “take it easy”, otherwise they could hurt their heart. I explained to her that I was working with a trainer and that I was fine, but she wouldn’t let up! I told her I needed to push myself to lose more weight and not get too comfortable in my routine and she said “oh no, pushing is the worst thing you can do”.

    And it gets worse because I have even received similar advice from so-called “trainers” at the gym! I get really red and breath really hard when I’m into my anaerobic zone, and on several different occasions I’ve had “trainers” and even a gym owner approach me and tell me that I needed to “take it easy”. I explained to them that I was trying to get into my anaerobic zone to boost my metabolism, and they replied “oh no, just keep it slow and steady”. I somehow doubt that they would have said the same thing to a thin person, and it really angers me that the one place where I go to do something good for myself I have to put up with this. I sometimes think that some thin people (not all, but some) are actively trying to discourage fat people just so they can continue to feel superior. I think that’s another explanation for all the discrimination. After all, if everyone were thin, all those superficial people out there would have to, heaven forbid, develop a personality. (And Paul I’m not trying to cast you as one of those people–I realize that you were trying to explain fat discrimination, not actively perpetuate it, and that you actually do want to help people change their lives–I just wish you could maybe tell some of those other trainers out there that fat people are not going to drop dead if they exercise and stop freaking interrupting their workouts and let them do so!)

  18. Trish says:

    As much as it may offend some people there is truth to this Ive been 315 and now Im 200.
    People did treat me differently when I was larger when I walked into stores sometimes I was totally ignored. BUT when I really sat back and thought about it I allways had a wall up and looked miserable because I had no self esteem and I thought if I looked angry people would leave me alone. Attractiveness comes from inside for sure Im not at the goal I want but I feel good and it shows in my new attitude towards people.
    So dont be too hard on Paul hes just being honest in his thoughts.

  19. Suz says:

    I’m also shocked at the comments above….Paul has never made bones about being straight-up with his opinions, and in my opinion, a great personal trainer is one that is willing to be completely realistic. I’ve also lost a bunch of weight, and certainly I am treated MUCH differently now than I was, but I also act differently than I did then, too. My head is held higher, my shoulders more proud, my back straighter (let’s face it, it’s straighter because there’s not as much pulling it down in front!). I feel more attractive, so I appear more attractive to others.

    Amanda, I have to say, I have had the exact same experience. Although people now tell me I don’t fit the “chubby” category anymore (I still think so), I still turn tomato-red and breath really heavy when I work out. Just joined a gym after moving to a new city and yesterday (yesterday!!!) one of the beefiest trainers I’ve ever seen comes up to me and says “You’re doing great, but maybe you need to take it easy”. I continued my pace and 45 minutes later I completed my cardio and moved to weights. Same trainer passed me later and said “wow you can really go! I can’t do an hour of cardio!” I told him I ran a half marathon this year, so really, I’m alright. Perhaps next time he will hold his tongue. Trainer, maybe, but he wasn’t MY trainer and I hope other trainers that may read this will realize they don’t always have all the answers.

    Thanks, Paul, for writing down your thoughts. As always, you make some good points.

  20. omomo says:

    I actually skim through Paul’s article at first, but after reading the first three comments I went back to read the article. The article was not offensive in any shape or form to fat or skinny people. Paul simply stated the Westernized view of attractiveness. Paul was not advocating for 5″9 100lb women or men. I think he was calling for some sort of normalcy. Being overweight or underweight is not healthy, we have all completely lost our senses. My barometer for healthiness is this, if you can climb up the stairs of a four story building and not be out of breath then I think you are in good shape and I truly don’t care what you weigh. So ladies and gentlemen try not to get your feathers easily plucked. There is a middle ground in all things in life. Any extreme is never the best option.

  21. new mom says:

    As I have had two babies in the last three years and went from 125 lbs to 200 lbs each time, I can testify that being thin is better than being fat for all of the reasons Mr. Plakas lists above. There is too much coddling and giving of excuses to those with significant weight problems and they refuse to hear the truth because it’s too hard. Bottom line is each time someone picks up a Big Mac or a piece of cake they answer this question: “Do I want to be healthy more than eat this right now?” and 9 out of 10 times people would rather eat the food than make the healthy choice. So they choose their condition and I have no sympathy for them. As for me, I enjoyed pigging out during my pregnancies but once they were over, I was able to re-gain control of myself and take control of my destiny to NEVER be fat again! And at least I had a damned good excuse for getting to that weight when it happened, and didn’t just lose control of my body for no reason whatsoever. Mr. Plakas, I hope to see more of you again on X-Weighted if the producers wake up and go back to the old format, which was what got me and my husband hooked on your show and your views on physical health.

  22. Wendy says:

    Great article! Refreshing when someone can speak out their thoughts! Truth and revelations most ppl fear. I get this all the time. I am asked all the time for a reading or advice and i tell them what spirit has to say, im not a fortune teller but i do tell enough that makes them think and help fix themselves, i motivate and yet i speak the thruth, its called EVOLUTION! and this article speaks frankly as to why ppl are overwieght and how society does view overwieght ppl. The point is treat your body like a temple and you can do anything physcical, spiritual and the mind is fed and you feel different about urself and the world. Thank you Paul its refreshing to read the truth lets hope that others think about the article in terms of not being offending but rather rid the fear and really take a good look at themselves. again thank you, it has reminded me of what i need to do health wise as well.

  23. paul says:

    It is very interesting to see the different perspectives on this subject. Can’t wait to see what everyone thinks of my next article coming out on Fat Acceptance.

  24. Dana says:

    Well, I kinda found this article kind of inspiring to push me to loose my baby fat after having my baby. I also have been heavier throughout child hood and once I was in College I had lost a big amount of weight and it is true how people view when you are bigger compared to when you are smaller. When I was smaller i found guys took more of an interest in me especially when I worked out at the gym. And once I got pregnant I gained more weight than what i wanted, and once i had the baby I have had a hard time loosing it, and people do look at you different and for me this is a big stress in my life once again… i have tried to loose weight and watch what i eat adn I thought it would be so easy to loose once again, oh but i find I am having more of a hard time, and thanks to this article it has given me the inspiration to get back on that health kick and try harder… Also too people think I am crazy cause I want a personal trainer, but I don’t care how mean they are they are just trying to push me to get to the goals i have set for myself, and they are trying to help us acheive those goals, words they say may be harsh but they are just doing there jobs!!!

  25. vern says:

    I’m watching the show as I read Paul’s post.
    A 300 lb woman lifts up her shirt to reveal a stomach the size of a beach beach ball.

    I could be politically correct and say “Thats not very attractive.”
    To put it more bluntly, its ugly. I don’t want to be like that.
    I wouldn’t want that in a mate.

    You might not like the way Paul says it, but its all true!

  26. Liz says:

    I think when any group of people opens communication by sharing their own opinions, it benefits all… for the most part. But talking it out is a great thing!!

    Take control of your situation, especially at the gym. ALL of it; weight loss to standing up for your human rights to letting go of your own guilt and/or negative self-talk is really hard work, but worth every breath in effort! Talk to management or to your trainer if you have one. Do they realize that you are feeling so uncomfortable while working out? We can’t read minds so don’t assume that they do. It’s up to you as the client to bring your concerns to the staff’s attention, and even be more assertive, but not aggressive, to fellow club members. We’d stand up for our family and friends right? So why do we find it so difficult at times to stand up for ourselves I wonder?

    I’d like to share three quotes, which speak volumes to anyone at any size, with the last quote geared toward those who may feel intimidated by others –

    “Rule your mind or it will rule you.” ~ Horace

    “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    and finally a truly important message…

    “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

  27. Susan says:

    I read all the comments and the articles. I have also been a big watcher of “Taking it Off” and “X-Weighted” series. I definitely thinking that Paul has many good points about weight loss and fitness, which I agree with. However, I admit that your delivery Paul can be a little be more kind.

    This article certainly voices what society thinks of overweight individuals and who they are as people. I myself have been morbidly obese in the past (I have lost 107 lbs and I am now 183 lbs and still losing.) and know what it is like for people in everyday life to treat you like garbage because you don’t look like everyone else. I am here to tell you that an overweight person does not need pity but, does want respect, kindness and treated with dignity.

    Just my two cents.

  28. Kerri Johnston says:

    It’s sad that when you tell the truth about obesity, people are offended by it. You weren’t insulting anyone, just explaining the societal view of obesity today.
    DENIAL is what gets people fat in the first place (DENIAL that all the crap they eat won’t catch up with them, DENIAL that the laziness and avoidance of physical activity is a good lifestyle choice, DENIAL that they wouldn’t be more attractive if they lost the extra 50lbs of adipose tissue that coats their bodies, etc.) and DENIAL is what keeps them fat.
    I know, because I have been through the weight-gain / weight-loss cycle.
    Dropping from a size 12 to a size 2 was the BEST thing I ever did, not for the obvious reasons (I look better and feel better and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been) but because I am EMPOWERED and in CONTROL of my life. Food and denial will never control my life again.
    I love that you give people the WAKEUP CALL that they need.

Comments are closed.